GHOST HUNTERS

This is another in my series poking loving fun at the paranormal-reality shows. This time, the focus is my favorite show, “Finding Bigfoot” and most especially the team leader, Matt Moneymaker who, well, gives me a lot of material to work with and his nemesis, Ranae (the skeptic). In the dark forest, Matt and Ranae are teamed on a hillside, sitting it out for the night. Ranae: ( comes to a stop ) Look, it's a dead deer. Matt: Don't move! There's a squatch around here. ( searching around them in the dark forest ) This kill is new. Squatches kill deer for food. Ranae: But, Matt, this deer hasn't been touched. Matt: ( snarls ) It would have eaten it, but we scared him away. Ranae: This thing has rigor mortis. It died long ago. It doesn't have any cuts or bleeding. It might have fallen off that rock ledge up there and broken its neck. Matt: I'm telling you, it's part of a master plan by the squatch. ( points a finger in the air ) He kills a deer and leaves

As I prepare to end "Secrets of Bigfoot" month at Ghost Hunting Theories, I can't help but wonder about the future and official discovery of Bigfoot. There's an assumption of how traumatic it would be to have Bigfoot face us and our modern ways, but it's my deeply held belief it's the other way around. We are not ready for Bigfoot.   And, I believe they know it. For some time, folks in rural areas have been admitting Bigfoot has gotten bolder about interactions and more attempts to confront the hairless ones and the overwhelming feeling is that we are not passing their tests, including walking right past the clues in the wild that they left behind for us. The dilemmas start at the governmental level and continue down to the level of health care, social services, and personal rights.  Imagine having to not only recognize a tribe of humans, but they are not another race of humans, they are a whole different branch of genus homo.  It raises too many questions we

It's over. It's done. Bigfoot has been proven by DNA and irrefutable video. This future scenario will occur, perhaps in the very near future. So, when man no longer has to prove Bigfoot exists, to rush out into the woods and get the money shot or the DNA, what next? Well, once it is determined what BF is, protections will be put in place.  Harassing, shooting, and otherwise molesting Bigfoot will be illegal. That probably won't stop some nut jobs out there from trying, but for the most part all the legitimate groups seeking to understand Bigfoot will have limitations on being allowed to just roam the woods freely and set up trap cams. This doesn't mean, however, that there will no longer be a place for them in the world of Bigfootery. I often say it in ghost hunting, but there is a role for everyone. If you can't be an investigator, consider running the website, interviewing clients, studying history of locations, and many other aspects of helping out the cause of

We go to extraordinary means to explain Bigfoot because other options can't explain why we aren't running into them. After all, they are huge, they must eat a lot, they must be breeding, and living in the woods, yet they manage to keep eluding us. They must use a portal or some kind of interdimensional travel, right? Actually, a much more simple and feasible explanation is psychic skills. We may scoff at such abilities, but it is an unavoidable skill that some humans have developed and display. Just look at this example of my psychic testing against others (I'm Autumnforest)     It is entirely possible that Bigfoot has developed that part of his brain as a prerequisite to surviving in the woods or perhaps he chose to hide in the woods because he already had the evolved skill (as part of his brain's evolution) and this was the ideal way to hide from the hairless ones and their motives. If you knew when and where someone was entering the woods, do you think you could evad

Yahoo!  Syfy is bringing back a show I actually enjoy. It's not the cast I'm thrilled about, not the directing and editing - it's stilted and contrived, but it's the stories and locations - the last season's episodes of Hellhounds and the one in the Bayous really creeped me out.  Tonight's season premiere of Haunted Highway is Island of the Lost Souls in Dry Tortugas.

Whether we want to accept it or not, there are only two ways we can take the subject of Bigfoot; either they are the world's most exceptionally shy and elusive tribe or Bigfoot is a hoax perpetuated by thousands of people and continued today for reasons that are unclear. Talk about a world of insanity?  No wonder Bigfootery has attracted everyone from charlatans and thieves, opportunists and killers to philosophers and intellects, artists to weekend archaeologists. Did you ever hear the phrase, "you can't be sorta pregnant?" Bigfoot either does or does not exist.  Given those two options, we can make only two conclusions; exceptional skills that exceed our own crafty ones or has never existed but is a mass urban legend chased by well meaning believers of the Cult of Bigfoot. Mass Covert Operation? If Bigfoot is the most elusive of man's family, how does he do it with our population growth, dwindling wildlife, and so many meatheads rushing in to try and capture th

  Tonight's guest on Paranormal Geeks Radio is author of the paranormal, Julia DeMaria.  Born in Brooklyn, New York Lived and worked in Manhattan then moved to Los Angeles My career in tv spanned 25 yrs, beginning as Assistant to Producer, and on to Script Supervisor, Assistant Director, Development Manager, Writer Shows include:  Sesame Street, Best of Families for PBS, Rob Reiner's Free Country, Taxi, Love Boat, New Love American Style, Beverly Hills Cop (Movie), Married With Children, Who's The Boss, Facts of Life, Baby Boomers TV development for Embassy TV, MGM/UA Television, Paramount Features Various pilots Ghost writer on approx 6 books Page Admin - Big Time Paranormal Literary projects in the works (3) - 1 romantic novel involving 2 spirits from different eras in history, yet untitled, 1 children's book "Rocky The Magical Airedale," and "1 paranormal story revolving around my experiences with an entity from the time I was 7 yrs. old. Thi

We have debated since 1967 the credibility of the Patterson-Gimlin's "Patty." We elucidate more and more information over time from experts like MK Davis who was the first to stabilize the original film and has continued to give us clearer and clearer images over time. We are so distracted by the hair on Patty, that people often scoff, " this is a walking ape, yeah, right! " But, if we whittle away the hairiness of this female, we discern some very human features. In fact, we often say Bigfoot has a "no-neck" look but this is the effect created by the fact they have hairiness and long hair - it completely swallows up the neck region to give no definition or curve. With my limited Photoshop skills, I shaved away the hair to expose structure beneath and get a perspective on her looks without the distraction.  (utilized a pale skin color to show the musculature and details, but actual skin color is questionable) I also did it with her body to see what ki

  Missing a shovel? Wonder what happened to the kids shoes left at the sand pit in the backyard? Care what became of the ice cooler that fell off the top of your station wagon as you raced down the rural highway?  Hey, thanks for the stuff.  Some of it can be useful. Some of it, we're still not sure what to do with, like this -   Or this - and we have had animated discussions about this one- My brothers think they know what they are, but I have my own theories.  The first one is obviously the skins of the humans they have slain. When I see these hanging outside an abode, I don't mess with them.  That round floating object is a false friend. I have seen the young ones pulling them on strings and my theory is that these lonely tykes are pulling a make believe friend along. The last thing has had me baffled for a good long time. It's clear, thin, delicate but strong. One of my brothers says it is the skin of a human-made snake, some kind of engineered killer reptile. My other

Tornados have Fujita Scale to determine the wind speeds based on ground damage. Paranormal investigators use EVPs classes to discern the quality of their audio recordings. So how do we rank the blobsquatches as they dance across our computer screens? Here’s my suggested rating scale: Picasso:   These are the ones that are found in the shapes of shadows and leaves in the forest. If someone hands you a photo and says, “... see, it’s to the right of that tree stump, see the eyes up here and the outline of the head and the right side of the neck and an arm down here? What? Are you blind, you can't see that! ” (taps on the picture repeatedly) and all you see is sumac and honey locust, then this is in the eyes of the beholder.  In EVP terms, this is a class D. It's a sound, but not language. Carole King:  Called this because it's "... so far away ."  Damn, why does that Bigfoot have to steer clear of humans? Zoom in until its pixelated, you'll see a black mass. &q

Tonight the team heads to Florida to revisit some evidence in an episode called "The Best Evidence Yet." - Animal Planet -

Another in my LAUGH series involving my favorite show, "Finding Bigfoot." Today, we find the F'ing Bigfoot team about to tackle woods that look totally squatchy. Having tried a fake deer, torches, fireworks, mannequins, doughnuts and a crying baby doll, the team lead by Matt Moneymaker decides they are ready to flush that stubborn squatch from the woods. ***If this episode reminds you of roadrunner cartoons, it's simply NOT coincidental.**  Cliff:  ( approaches Bobo ) What-are-you-doing? Bobo: ( chuckles as he continues to rub peanut butter all over a deer on a leash ) Ask the Boss Man. Matt: You see, Cliff, we're going to try a new technique I'm responsible for inventing. We're going to make this deer smell real inviting and then place this camera on its head ( hands camera to Bobo who fastens the strap around the deer's head ). Then, we'll release the deer into the woods where SAH-squatches will chase it down and we'll get them on film. I pl

Neanderthal:   Robust, large brow-ridges, a slightly protruding face, and lack of prominent chin. Homo Sapien:   Have the smallest brows of any known hominid, and have a flat face with a protruding chin. Jocks Versus Nerds Remember by the end of grade school and going into middle school, it became apparent who were the pretty people, who were the jocks, and who were the nerds? It seemed that there was a natural process whereby a kid who was strongly built, tended to pursue athletics and one who was weaker or perhaps more sickly, developed his mind. There was a process of natural selection and evolution in accelerated form that created the cliques we knew in high school. Perhaps it was in the earlier times of man when Neanderthal and Homo Sapiens walked the earth. We know Neanderthal was a powerful guy with a strong immune system. Might those attributes been evolved over time to produce a tall, powerful, resilient, but shy race due to lack of mental facilities to feel superior. Could th

  What? I'm only allowed to pack 5 Bigfoot-themed movies to take with me to a desert island?  Sigh....Okay, okay - here goes -  Harry and the Hendersons :  Funny, lovable, well acted, and an utter classic.  It has plenty of funny and also moments of utter truth that even today - decades later, ring true. Perhaps the best Bigfoot makeup ever done. Snowbeast:  A 1970s made-for-tv with big-star names. It scared the crap out of me as a kid and it has its moments. I enjoy seeing the old popular 70s stars like Bo Svenson and the snowy atmosphere.  This 1/2 for the setting, 1/4 for the 70s nostalgia, and 1/4 for the scenes that scared me when I was younger. Creature From Black Lake:  It's campy and dorky and very 70s, but it has some thrills when they record the screams at night and at the end when they camp out in the middle of nowhere. Letters From the Big Man:  This is my all-time favorite. Beautifully done, considerate, mysterious, contemplative, and very thoughtful. This is perh

  This picture above is of a HoHoKam glyph from before 1000 AD. (enhanced with color so you can see it better). Going to this site in the desert, it dawned on me that their glyphs are readily admitted by scholars to be portraying many anthropomorphs. Was this the case, or were they drawing beings that they shared the land with? We make assumptions that you must go into forests to find Bigfoot, but there is no reason to dismiss the desert as infeasible. If we agree that Bigfoot is of man's family, he would live where man lives. And Natives lived in the desert for a millenniums.  (Dwelling above referred to as "Montezuma's Castle" was built by the Sinagua Tribe 800 years ago)  (Mesa Verde, Pueblo dwelling in Colorado, their dwelling there ended around 1300 AD) All the resources Native Americans depended upon to live in this inhospitable place, were available to Bigfoot as well. And, don't let a hair-covered body dismiss the feasibility. We have plenty of hair covere

I’ve walked the path in the daytime through most of the thick autumn woods. I know where the lake is, where the tree branches and trunks have fallen down and become a spindly mess in the ravine below, where the rock face begins, where the wild turkeys congregate, and where the deer like to graze.   I feel confident about these woods during my vacation, perhaps because I've enjoyed them with the safe cabin to retreat to.             Tonight, however, I want to experience the darkness and have something of substance to write about in my horror novel involving the woods in autumn and nighttime.             It is a full moon, so I step outside the cabin and walk out into the roadway where I am away from the trees and can see the giant bloated moon dragging low in the skyline and lighting up the trees along the street in a faint blue light. It strangely emboldens me to listen to absolute silence, study the unflinching moon, and peer at the mysterious matted woods around me knowing that