GHOST HUNTERS

Titlis, Switzerland That's right - ya gotta have balls to ride this. Dildo, Canada The town that can never have enough AA batteries Wankers Corner, Oregon The one corner you don't mind doing time out in. Wet Beaver Creek and Dry Beaver Creek, Arizona Do you turn left or turn right? Anus, France A town full of brown nosers Please - EXIT ONLY Bald Knob, Arkansas Apparently, it isn't just the lawns that are manicured here  Smackass Gap, Virginia They must have a helluva a football team! Spread Eagle, Wisconsin The citizens are all a bunch of posers Ta Ta Creek, Canada The most RSVP'd invitation by any man Big Bone Lick Park, Kentucky The most visited location by the local boys Beaver Lick, Kentucky Relax. Enjoy. Don't mind if I do Penistone, England Town slogan, "you could cut diamonds with it" Tumbledown Dick Rd., England Can he throw it over his shoulder like a continental soldier? Nothing, Arizona Move on. There's nothing here to see Dunmovin, Californ...

Tornados have Fujita Scale to determine the wind speeds based on ground damage. Paranormal investigators use EVPs classes to discern the quality of their audio recordings. So how do we rank the blobsquatches as they dance across our computer screens? Here’s my suggested rating scale: Picasso:   These are the ones that are found in the shapes of shadows and leaves in the forest. If someone hands you a photo and says, “... see, it’s to the right of that tree stump, see the eyes up here and the outline of the head and the right side of the neck and an arm down here? What? Are you blind, you can't see that! ” (taps on the picture repeatedly) and all you see is sumac and honey locust, then this is in the eyes of the beholder.  In EVP terms, this is a class D. It's a sound, but not language. Carole King:  Called this because it's "... so far away ."  Damn, why does that Bigfoot have to steer clear of humans? Zoom in until its pixelated, you'll see a black mass. ...

Another in my LAUGH series involving my favorite show, "Finding Bigfoot." Today, we find the F'ing Bigfoot team about to tackle woods that look totally squatchy. Having tried a fake deer, torches, fireworks, mannequins, doughnuts and a crying baby doll, the team lead by Matt Moneymaker decides they are ready to flush that stubborn squatch from the woods. ***If this episode reminds you of roadrunner cartoons, it's simply NOT coincidental.**  Cliff:  ( approaches Bobo ) What-are-you-doing? Bobo: ( chuckles as he continues to rub peanut butter all over a deer on a leash ) Ask the Boss Man. Matt: You see, Cliff, we're going to try a new technique I'm responsible for inventing. We're going to make this deer smell real inviting and then place this camera on its head ( hands camera to Bobo who fastens the strap around the deer's head ). Then, we'll release the deer into the woods where SAH-squatches will chase it down and we'll get them on film. I pl...

This is a new twist on my LAUGH series poking loving fun at the paranormal shows. This one deals with a dilemma that FoF might just run into… BEN: Team, we just got this awesome footage of a flying humanoid. I think we should pursue this case. BILL: I agree! JAEL: Definitely! BEN: I say we take Austin and rig him up and make him ride a zip line and see if that might be our culprit. Everyone ready to set this up and film? AUSTIN: Sounds like a blast! BEN: Well, team, I think we can say this might be explainable. Austin did an excellent job of showing us how it could be done. BILL: Everyone, I have new footage of another flying humanoid I think we should pursue. JAEL: ( frowning ) That looks strangely familiar. BEN: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, Jael. These damn things all look like people on zip lines. When was it filmed? BILL: Some guy shot in, actually in the same place you three went and experimented, same date too. BEN: That’s weird. Maybe there’s an epid...

I have a tendency to make loving fun at the shows I most enjoy. "F'ing Bigfoot" ( as I like to refer to it ) is my most beloved new show on TV. In this episode, we find the team searching for BF in the icy mountainous terrain of Colorado in search of the popularly termed "Snowbeast." Ranae: ( Lifts her pack over her shoulders and hikes through the snow ) Boys, if you are all done urinating your names into the fresh snow, could we please move on before nightfall? ( the men track in after her towards the treeline ) BoBo: So, I don't get it. Technically, if this is a Snowbeast, it should be white. That'd make it a Yeti, right? So, what's Yeti doing in Colorado? Does his coat change when he goes down in the off season to lower elevations. If he does that, wouldn't it make him like a mood ring? I once had this mood ring when I was a kid and the dang thing was always blue. Maybe he's related to a chameleon. You think that's possible, huh? Cau...

I love "Ghost Adventures" and it's really about what Zak is up to next. I love the locations and I always end up chuckling at his antics. Here's some of my favorite lines from episodes: "I'm standing here with wax figures, some of whom are dead now." ( Madam Tussad's Wax Museum in Vegas ) Ah, Zak, lambie, ALL of the wax figures are dead, dear. "I'm gonna set it right here in between my legs because that's where I hear the incubus likes it best." ( Rams Inn, England ) Ah, Zak sugar foot, the incubus (male ghost looking for sex) appreciates your accommodating his needs, dear. "We hear you don't like people in here renovating this place...Why am I being like this to you? Because I don't like bullies! ( The Riddle House ) I'm sorry to hear that, Zak, honey. Then, I suppose you're really hating on yourself about now, huh? "I know what you did to that big guy earlier and I want you to do it to me...You wanna g...

Tornados have Fujita Scale to determine the wind speeds based on ground damage. Paranormal investigators use EVPs classes to discern the quality of their audio recordings. So how do we rank the blobsquatches as they dance across our computer screens? Here’s my suggested rating scale: Picasso:   These are the ones that are found in the shapes of shadows and leaves in the forest. If someone hands you a photo and says, “... see, it’s to the right of that tree stump, see the eyes up here and the outline of the head and the right side of the neck and an arm down here? What? Are you blind, you can't see that! ” (taps on the picture repeatedly) and all you see is sumac and honey locust, then this is in the eyes of the beholder.  In EVP terms, this is a class D. It's a sound, but not language. Carole King:  Called this because it's "... so far away ."  Damn, why does that Bigfoot have to steer clear of humans? Zoom in until its pixelated, you'll see a black mass. ...

  Missing a shovel? Wonder what happened to the kids shoes left at the sand pit in the backyard? Care what became of the ice cooler that fell off the top of your station wagon as you raced down the rural highway?  Hey, thanks for the stuff.  Some of it can be useful. Some of it, we're still not sure what to do with, like this -   Or this - and we have had animated discussions about this one- My brothers think they know what they are, but I have my own theories.  The first one is obviously the skins of the humans they have slain. When I see these hanging outside an abode, I don't mess with them.  That round floating object is a false friend. I have seen the young ones pulling them on strings and my theory is that these lonely tykes are pulling a make believe friend along. The last thing has had me baffled for a good long time. It's clear, thin, delicate but strong. One of my brothers says it is the skin of a human-made snake, some kind of engineered kil...